Our friend J

October 2003 was our first Halloween and it was in Vancouver. We are dressed as a cow and a giraffe. The statue of liberty is our friend J. She is one year older than us, and we were together in the same pre-school for a year.

J and her mummy came over to our apartment very often, some times for playdates and sometimes for dinner. We enjoyed playing with J, even though she is a girl. She is a really smart girl and can recite Tang poems. Her mummy, auntie C is very good with art and craft. She made us mickey mouse lanterns for the lantern festival. She made J's costume. Our mummy and daddy bought ours.

One year after we came back from Vancouver, J and auntie C visited us. They had returned, but auntie C was not well. She had cancer but she was going through treatment. We were not worried as auntie C appeared as cheerful as before.

Then one day, mummy and daddy told us that auntie C had gone to heaven. This was end 2005.

We think that J misses her mummy very very much. We pray for auntie C and J. And for uncle WK as well.

Our Cambodian brother

This is Voathi from Cambodia. He is our adopted brother and he lives in an orphanage together with his three brothers.

Voathi is 14 years old, although he looks like he is only 9 or 10.

He visited Singapore in August 2005 on a special trip with about 20 friends from COSI. We invited him for dinner and the next day, we watched him performed a Cambodian dance together with his friends at the PMC service.

Voathi and his friends seemed happy. He was really pleased with the hotwheels set our mummy and daddy bought him.

Voathi writes to us once a year to let us know how he gets on. We hope he enjoyed his visit to Singapore and will always remember to pray for Voathi and his friends.

Mummy and daddy say that they remind us just how blessed we are. We don't understand, but mummy and daddy say that hopefully someday we will.

VOICE 2006

"Hi, Mr Ong!"

I turned around, and saw a P-three-er grinning a toothless smile and waving at me. It's almost deja-vu every week or so. They make me out a lot better than I them. And these are P3 kids from the TPS VOICE program and I am a "40-hour parent volunteer."

The 40-hour parent volunteer is a unique creation of the primary school system in Singapore. MOE accords priority in its annual school admission process to parent volunteers who have clocked in at least 40 hours of service at a primary school of choice. Now the 2006 admission is for children born in 2000, a popular dragon year. Like most (not all!) parents who are "kia-su", we did our homework, and set our mind mid last year on two good schools - one in Tampines and one in Bedok. Because we are not within 2 km (another oddity of the admission process), we thought we had better volunteer. The Tampines school requires 80 hours of volunteer work (because we have twins), but the neigborhood school in Bedok is more reasonable - 40 hours even for twins.

So that was how I started out in the VOICE program at TPS (why not at the other school is another story for another time!).

VOICE is a character enrichment program aimed at primary 3 kids. Held once a week, four modules a year and four lessons per module, parent volunteers (including the 40-hour PV) spend about an hour focussing on attentiveness, obedience, truthfulness and gratefulness. There are memory work, songs, art and craft, stories, etc to keep the kids occupied. Overall, this is a very well thought-out program.

But what I think is significant are the values this program is trying to instill and reinforce. And the many teaching opportunites that arise.

Some teaching moments.

The kids have branded one of their classmates as dishonest. "Why?" "He lies." "He cheats." "He is dishonest."
The next lesson, that so-called dishonest kid admitted to a wrong doing. A teaching moment. "Thank you for owning up." I said with the other kids within earshot. "No, you are definitely not dishonest!"

There's this boy who refused to participate in memory work. He would stand with his arms crossed and looked out defiantly when all his classmates were reciting and doing the actions. Clearly, he was being "difficult". The next chance I had, I spoke to him and saw that he brought his Pokemon book to show his friend. I started talking to him and asking him questions about his favorite Pokemon. The next time, he wanted to lend me a book he was reading/read. Just the other day, as I was walking pass the G class, he stuck his head out and said hi. The current PVs were surprised, as they found him to be difficult to handle. A little attention makes a big difference.

All kids love stickers. So we dish them out for completing various tasks. Some creative kids decided to "double-dip" and presented their completed work more than once. They were made... and we gave a stern lecture to reinforce the virtue of truthfulness. I think these kids remember such lessons much more vividly than listening to definitions of truthfulness. Experiential learning.

A kid threw down his card in frustration when I didn't give him a reward Pokemon card. This boy has been "difficult" - as are many in the J class. I realized my mistake and picked up his card and brought him aside. I asked him if he had made the card himself, and when he affirmed that, I gave him his reward and thanked him for participating. I think he appreciated that.

The boy from Mongolia is not very good with his English, and he is tall and strong. We were forewarned about him, and how disruptive he could be. But we find that he likes drawing and he is really good at it. The first time, we praised him for drawing a nice tiger (think you can draw a tiger?? Try it!). This week, he came up to us at the begining of class and presented a picture of spiderman (in full color!). Needless to say, we thank and praised him for this.

That same day, he had to be physically restrained as he was pushing his classmates around in the rush to get stickers. I was a little worried that he might shut himself out. But the next thing I know, he was all over me asking me to take his book about Mongolia. I had to tell him that I really appreciate the book, but I would much prefer if he drew me a thank you note (the lesson was on gratefulness). That he did, and not one, but two notes.

At the end of the class, he gave the two pokemon cards back to me, "You can have it!" He was really happy, not with the cards, but with the attention.



The kids from last two terms still smile and wave when they see me. These are the children of our world.

Reflections 2004

Just as 2003 was a year of contrast, 2004 was the same, except in the other direction. Moving back to Singapore after one year in Vancouver is not a trivial transition, but the boys took the change well in their stride; which is a lot more than can be said for Ruf and me. To say the least, we very much enjoyed our time in Vancouver – not least because of the slower pace of life, simpler in many aspects, but mainly because it allowed us to spend quality time with the boys in their formative years. The simple joys such as regular walks through the playgrounds or to/from school, scooting or cycling around family housing, strolling and playing ball besides the beautiful Kitsilano beach, and pinning up the boys’ latest masterpiece artworks.



We remember the first half of 2004 also for the many afflictions that the boys came down with – HFMD, fourth virus, wheezing coughs, but that is just part of growing up. The cycling camp in June was particularly memorable, as first Ethan and then David learnt to cycle without training wheels. Unfortunately, the Singapore weather is not conducive for cycling, although we made a good number of trips to Pasir Ris park.




The transition back to school in Singapore, thank God, was very smooth, as the boys took to their old school (Josiah Montessori) and teachers well. We were initially concerned that the more regimented system in Josiah may be too much of a contrast with the all-play environment in Lluvia preschool in UBC; but as Poh Kiang would say – we worry too much. ☺

Career-wise, 2004 turned out to be a time of consolidation for me. It was timely to catch up with my research, and be exposed to new ideas and culture. Overall, it has been a productive time, and at times, I did feel like I was a student again (school years were the golden years in many ways).

Ruf returned to her previous company and her old job, first on a part time basis, that eventually became full time, and found that things have changed over the past two years. We suppose we should not be all that surprised, as people and organizations move on, with or without us. The book “Who moved my cheese” comes to mind …

Which made me ponder, a year after our return – we had so quickly adjusted back to Singapore it is as if we had not left at all. Perhaps it is our friends, family, or just familiarity. But every now and then, David and Ethan would remind us of small details – the “snake-man” when they talk about the animals at Singapore zoo, a Wiggles song, the four seasons, snow at Grouse Mountain, or go-karting in Kelowna. I think we are all the richer for this experience.


June 2005

Dave the Brave

"I cannot, I cannot!"

This was what David said repeatedly when the boys started taking swim lessons. Swimming is an essential life skill - that's our firm belief - and that is the motivation for signing the boys up for swim lessons with Coach G at Parbury. Coach G, we must say, is a great guy. He is always encouraging but firm.

The first couple of lessons focused on gaining water confidence. Coach made the boys go underwater to fetch little crab, penguin, octopus, etc. In spite of David's refrain, we observed gradual improvement over time. He became incrementally more confident. And he caught onto the technique pretty quickly, and could move well in the water. That was in June.

Fast forward to end August. The boys could now swim without floats and noodles. And they could swim the length of the pool at Parbury. Needless to say, we were really pleased.

Then we went swimming at Laguna. The lap pool is 25 m length-wise and 3 m deep. David did one lap with the float. And the next swim he surprised even me. He swam all the way down the middle of the lap pool. Swimming beside him was his proud father. He appeared so small with 3 m of water beneath him. And yes, he swam all the way unaided.

Then David asked to go down the red slide. The boys had previously done that with me, but it was really fast toward the end, and a little scary. The first time that day, we did the slide together. The second time, David came down alone.

I could see a tinge of fear on his face as he turned the corner accelerating into the splash. But I caught him as he entered the pool and congratulated him for being Dave the Brave.

"You did it, you did it!"




David has been hounding his brother to do the same since that day.

PS: Ethan accomplished a lap unaided about 2 weeks later.

Suzi and Prayer

Mother put her hand against Suzy's cheek. "I believe in prayer. You know that."
Suzy still sounded angry. "Prayer didn't keep Jeb from being hit by a motorcycle. It didn't stop Grandfather from having leukemia."
"Prayer was never meant to be magic," Mother said.
"Then why bother with it?" Suzy scowled.
"Because it's an act of love," Mother said.

- Madeleine L'Engle


To pray is to walk in the full light of God, and to say simply without holding back, "I am human and you are God." At that moment a conversion occurs, the restoration of the true relationship. A human being is not someone who once in a while makes a mistake, and God is not someone who now and then forgives. No, human beings are sinners and God is love.

- Henri Nouwen



If prayer stands as the place where God and human beings meet, then
I must learn about prayer. Most of my struggles in the Christian life circle
around the same two themes: why God doesn?t act the way we want God
to, and why I don?t act the way God wants me to. Prayer is the precise point
where those themes converge.?

- Philip Yancey



When a doctoral student at Princeton said, "What's there left in the world for original dissertation research?" Albert Einstein replied, "Find out about prayer. Somebody must find out about prayer."

Reflection on 2002

“You can never step into the same river twice because the water is constantly flowing.”
- David Roth, singer/song writer

The past two years are filled with joy and at times, anguish watching our boys grow from underweight premies to active toddlers. To say the least, David and Ethan are God’s gifts to us, and we constantly remind ourselves how blessed we are to be bestowed such gifts. We also truly believe that your prayers, concern and advice sustained us through the past years, and for that we are very thankful for our fellow journeymen.

We are also mindful that we are stewards accountable to God for our children and endeavor to bring them up in God’s ways. This new phase of our journey is somewhat daunting but as PK has so rightly put it, this is not new ground we are treading on. To this end, the group’s study on parenting these past months have been very enlightening (I am one of those who reads after the discussion!); to learn from each other’s experiences, talk about values and principles, discipline and love.

On the work front, God has also blessed us abundantly. Ruf’s decision to go part time and then to stop work completely has not been easy, but we firmly believe that is the right thing to do now. And the closeness with our boys more than makes up for any financial and economic loss.

God has also been good to me at my workplace. Being the AH for one year was one of the toughest assignments I had to undertake, but with God’s grace and wisdom, the department was able to turn around from being the whipping boy to the best performer in the School/Faculty. Above all, the stint has taught me much about my abilities (and inabilities!), judgment, and most importantly, principles and values that I hold dear.

Although we are in a quiet pond does not meant that the water around us are not somewhat turbulent. The past year has also presented us with many opportunities to appreciate the tough economic environment and realities of life (retrenchment, schooling and education, illness and death). We are humbled by the realization that we are merely passing through this earth and life.

Of late we have developed a conviction to help the less privileged, especially the children. To return a portion of our blessings from God, any portion, no matter how substantial, would be infinitely small compared to what God has blessed us with!

Dec 30 , 2002